On the Job: Just say ‘No,’ tactfully, to avoid …

The holidays are right around and the corner, year-end reports are due, co-workers are asking you to cover for them on vacation and the boss wants everything done yesterday.

It's no wonder you may be feeling a bit stressed.

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But could the stress be generated not from outside forces but your own actions?

At a recent Families and Work Institute conference, President Ellen Galinsky says that many employers are noticing a growing problem of employees being always "on." They answer e-mails at night and on weekends and work outside of regular hours when they're supposed to be off.

Employers are worried about worker burnout, she says.

One of the biggest problems for many workers today is that they can't say "no," says says Preston Ni, a professor of communications studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, Calif.; a career coach; and trainer.

"There's always the concern in the workplace of social rejection or career consequences for saying no," Ni says. "Maybe you don't want to hurt someone's feelings by saying no, or doing so makes you feel guilty."

“There's always the concern in the workplace of social rejection or career consequences for saying no.”

— Preston Ni, Foothill College

The problem is that by not learning to say "no," you then become a victim and risk burnout, he says.

The most successful people learn how to manage their own time effectively and aren't buffeted with demands from various sources, Ni says. They are still busy, just not overwhelmed.

With all the year-end activities and deadlines many of us are facing, Ni has advice to let you say "no," take control of your life, and be happier and more successful:

• Set boundaries. If a colleague approaches you about covering for her while she's taking some time off, you can say "no" diplomatically by saying something like, "Unfortunately, I have a lot on my plate as well."!

Or "it is important to me that I finish this project, so I need to focus on these tasks." Another option: Say you're "uncomfortable" taking on the other tasks at this time.

• Learn to engage and disengage. Instead of turning down a colleague's request for help, you can offer to take a specific piece of the task, and then request someone else take the rest.

Or negotiate a trade-off by saying, "I would be willing to this for you if you can do this task for me before you leave."

Press that "no" button and don't feel guilty.(Photo: Getty Images)

• Lead the boss. Every boss has her own goals, and any of your needs must be aligned with those.

Once you understand what is most important to the boss, then you can approach her and say, "I know getting this project done and implementing the new software are your priorities, so which of these two tasks do you want me to tackle to help you the most?" Ni says the key is to always offer solutions to the boss and offer no more than three.

"They should be solutions that work for you," he says. "Never go to the boss with a problem, or she may find solutions you don't like or make the situation worse for you."

• Use the 80/20 rule. This is based on the Pareto Principle that 20% of your activities will account for 80% of your results.

For example, if you have a to-do list with 10 items, two of the items on the list will turn out to be worth as much or more than all the other eight items combined.

A thorough review of your activities may reveal that you're not focused on the 20%, which will lead to better time management, Ni says.

• Keep a schedule. Holiday time often adds an extra load of stress to your life, but you can manage ! it better! if you decide ahead of time what is important to you and schedule time accordingly.

Prioritize your activities as a) have to do; b) should do, but not now; and c) put away until after the holidays.

"Think about what is most important to you and then prioritize your activities so that you feel you're doing the things that really matter in your life," he says.

Anita Bruzzese is author of 45 Things You Do That Drive Your Boss Crazy ... and How to Avoid Them, www.45things.com. Twitter: @AnitaBruzzese.