Friday, February 1, 2013

Rules of the Super Bowl Party

John Ueland

You are eating greasy food with your greasy fingers and sitting in front of the television for four hours and you will like it.

This is the Journal's second annual Super Bowl Party Rules column, which I guess makes it Super Bowl Party Rules 2, which sounds like a terrible movie starring Ryan Reynolds. You can see why the NFL loves to spiff up its Super Bowl with fancy-pants Roman numerals. They make everything seem so portentous and classy! Today I ate XIV mini-donuts and CCXXXI French Fries. See? I am Spartacus, reading the New Yorker.

  • Jason Gay's 21 Super Bowl Rules in 2012

Let's not pretend you are going to blow off the Super Bowl. Every year there are some lying liar-liars who claim to be uninterested in the game and planning on going to the gym or painting pottery or reciting Chaucer by a whale oil lamp, but this is the Great American TV Ritual, and it cannot be resisted. Don't try to be above it all. You are eating greasy food with your greasy fingers and sitting in front of the television for four hours and you will like it. Or else.

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